When I first left corporate life I was excited about what I was doing but then I found myself on a bit of a roller coaster ride for a while discovering who I am and what I want from my new life. I thought I had the answers all worked out a couple of years ago and then I managed to persuade my partner Geoff to leave his job too. Since then I feel like I’ve been back in rediscovery mode.
There’s been a lot of discussion about where we want to live and what we want to do. Some of it we agree on and some of it is individual dreams, so it’s working out how we satisfy both our desires and whether any compromises will be made. I’ve been revisiting what I really want from my life and from my work and haven’t been able to make any firm decisions.
Indecision is not a good state of mind to be in. It keeps us stuck, trapped in a place of worry and anxiety. Not necessarily because we are fearful of what the future holds, although that may be the concern for some. Worrying whether they will make the wrong choice and so no choice is a safer option.
No, that is not the case here! It’s more about knowing what I really want next.
The lifestyle bit has surfaced a few realisations over recent months and a couple of decisions made – about selling our apartment in Spain and doing more travel again. We’re already looking to go to Burma later in the year which I’m feeling excited about.
Yet on the work side of things I’ve had a lot of conflict going on and that’s led to indecision. I’ve known that my work is in the right direction. I love coaching and mentoring people in transition from corporate careers and helping them create businesses and lifestyles to love. An integrated way of living and working that allows them to be themselves and gives them a sense of balance. And without sounding too pompous, I know I’m good at what I do. The feedback and testimonials from those I coach and mentor makes me feel very humbled to have such an impact on those people.
Yet recently I seem to have reached a blind-spot in my own life. Do I want to carry on in the same direction?
It may seem odd to get stuck on the area that I help others with, yet we all come up against our own blind spots.
Is it just that my routine has been upset by Geoff being around all the time and helping him decide what he wants from his life post-corporate? Or has the past few years merely been an interlude between the next “act” in the “stage-play of life”?
I know some people who will take action – any action just to avoid being in limbo. To avoid being in the place where it’s frustrating and uncomfortable.
Yet I also know that being here means being ready for growth. For a new me to emerge! I’m not quite sure of the answer to these questions yet and I’m willing to allow them to surface in their own time rather than rushing into quick decisions, just so that I can take action. Sometimes we need that, but there is also the need to just BE and see what comes up.
However, I do know the amazing power of coaching and what impact it has on lives. I do know that by myself I will go round in circles and take a long time to get to the destination. I do invest in myself and have my own coach and know that with her help I’ll get there much faster than on my own.
And I do know that I want an amazing life not a mediocre one!